#OverheardAtWork

Friendly reminder for anyone stressing over year-end ratings: If your reviewer gave you 'Developing Towards Next Level' across all your technical competencies, but your PML still anchors you to a '3' ...

"we should eat his liver since it's so fatty. Do you think it tastes the same as foie gras?" - one surgeon to another surgeon

What is the average GPA of the Associates hired by KPMG? Do they get only 2.0 pointers to work for them?

"I have always been more 'Tall Cans' than 'Gin and Juice.'"

What's going on at Pablo with the MDs leaving suddenly?

"I had a bad feeling, it's gone now. Hahahahaha."

We were in the middle of a massive strategy deck review with a notorious micro-manager. Our senior consultant got completely cornered on a flawed metric, paused for a dramatic three seconds, and said,...

Hope this exploitation of those on H1B visas and working at KPMG ends soon!

"We aren't lying, we are just presenting the truth in a highly optimistic parallel universe."

I work at a large big-box sporting goods store. A customer brought in a cornhole set to return and claimed it was defective. When I asked how it was defective he explained that when you throw the bean...

Overheard in the design studio. The lead architect looked at a junior designer's 3D model and said, "It’s a beautiful concept, if the client is a villain from a 1980s cartoon." To be fair, it did look...

“I feel like I used to get away with not having an opinion because people would ignore children rather than force an opinion out of them.”

"Sometimes I feel like cow, mooing at the internet."

“My knowing how you feel is not going to make me like you any more.”

"Maybe forbidding things is just way too subtle for a thousand years later where people hate learning instead of love it."

“It’s as if I’ve lived through this before and didn’t really enjoy it.”

Hosted an open house yesterday. A couple was looking at the master bedroom, and the husband muttered, "It's nice, but is it 'hide from your family for three hours' nice?" 🤭

“If it seems like I tend to not respect people it’s probably because they use emojis instead of English, but they do the same because I don’t use emojis, not because they think I don’t respect them.”

I’m a high school teacher, and during lunch in the staff lounge, the history teacher walked in looking utterly defeated. She told the principal, "A student tried to convince me his dog ate his homewor...

I was in the server room today helping our network admin clear out some old cables. He was on the phone with a remote user. He finally said, "Sir, turning it off and on again won't fix the fact that y...