22nd Century Technologies, Inc. interview questions

I see you are not open to relocation. So, I have this job that is 2500 miles from your location,

I'm going to rapidly ask you a series of questions in an accent so thick that the person that hired me to do phone interview should be drawn and quartered

I'm going to ask you a question, you're going to give me an answer I didn't want to hear so i'll keep asking the question over and over

I know enough english to ask for a coke and where the bathroom is so I have no idea what your answers mean

I'm going to shotgun 1000's of emails for phone interviews because we underbid the competition so drastically that we can't find any sort of qualified, quality support now we are desparate to fill this URGENT position that has nothing to do with your backgroud and it's across the country