Great Place to Work... If You’re a Mediocre White Guy Named Chad
Pros
• The view from the executive floor is incredible—probably because it’s so high up above the realities of, you know, inclusion, accountability, or modern workplace culture. • If you're a wealthy white man with a LinkedIn profile full of buzzwords and absolutely no self-awareness, this is your moment. • DEI initiatives exist in PowerPoint form only, so you won't be bothered by uncomfortable progress or pesky equity. • Promotions are based on “vibes” and mutual golf interests. Competence? Hilarious!
Cons
• DEI “efforts” are the equivalent of a toddler smearing paint on a wall and calling it a masterpiece. When they do hire or promote a person of color, it’s usually an unqualified favorite who flames out spectacularly—or worse, lingers for years making everything more toxic. (Looking at you, HR.) • HR operates like a bizarre performance art piece where empathy is optional and mediocrity is aggressively protected. • Middle management is a revolving door of terrified people trying to simultaneously impress the C-suite and avoid HR landmines. Spoiler: You can’t. • If you enjoy accountability, transparency, or clarity in your role... I hear other companies do that.
