The 50s called. They want their workplace back. - Anonymous employee Patelco Credit Union Employee Review

I highly recommend this company to anyone with a fetish for abuse and a high pain threshold, as you will have skidmarks on your face from being thrown under the bus in management’s daily “bowling for buses” tournies, where the bowling ball is your reputation, self-esteem, and capacity for joy. This is also a great gig if you enjoy working for surly, bitter corporate fossils who’s management philosophies have been ripped out of Korean War-era business school text books based on those of Miss Hannigan from the musical, Annie. Also get ready for team-building sessions in which your department VP’s head explodes at the perplexing concept of fostering any kind of fun in the workplace. Be sure to arm yourself for your first day with a fistful of Xanax and a good high-capacity flask of vodka to tape on the underside of the toilet, since any substance, aspirin included, is strictly forbidden. You will have plenty of time to stake out your favorite stall while you would otherwise be sitting abandoned in the lobby until 11 AM waiting for your new boss to saunter in still recovering from her hangover. Congratulations to battered women who’ve lost interest in ending the cycle of violence. You can now leave your spouse and barely support yourself on below-market wages. Just be sure to recycle your children’s diapers to wear under your slacks, as your butt will be raw from the constant rounds of spankings you can expect for any and all perceived mistakes, regardless of whether or not they are real, or even yours. In fact, they will usually be your boss’s. Good news: This company welcomes victims (ahem) talent from all walks of life. So if you are a massive blowhard who loves to strut around in unfashionable, east coast inspired business attire, jeans are forbidden too. You know the saying, “if you need to wear a suit, you have nothing to say?” It’s true. High five! Enjoy being treated like you’re totally expendable, for an HR department of promoted college dropouts who’s love of onboarding new idiots on a revolving basis exceeds their ability to find – and keep – quality, in-demand personnel.