I realized that I'm not great at separating how I feel from what the company wants to hear. I was always professional (that's how I felt) but when asked to speak openly, I trusted that it was safe to do so. I realize that it is NEVER safe to speak openly to a manager - there's a conflict of interest and they have to job to do (and keep) and family to provide for.
I feel there was a "rules for me, not for thee" situation going on and I didn't ever figure out how to play the game. Some people break BIG rules and take advantage, while others (like me) bent the rules only to take care of the customer or the company - which is what I thought we'd been taught. Yet things didn't seem to work out for me (I got into hot water a few times) while the big rule breakers kept their jobs and their reputations as being great salespeople and were cleared to keep working there.
I was warned by my new manager that I'd be in bigger trouble if I didn't clean up some bad habits. I did, but he didn't think I did it enough so he decided to put me into hot water anyway. It didn't seem fair but I tried to show him that I was willing to work harder to earn his trust & respect. Then he changed his interpretation of his "hot water" improvement plan for me and I was terminated. The day I was let go, I knew what was coming and had time to ask other managers & senior sales people to review my case. They agreed HR would never go along with it, but they did and I was let go.
I'd been meeting the sales engineer KPI's within 90% of margins, developing my skills and growing my book of business, and was well within the standards of conduct and performance standards for my role. There were plenty of others doing the same things I was accused of doing who weren't in any jeopardy (and who are still there at the time of this review) who also hate the job, don't get the culture, and do only what they have to do to not get fired. I came in early, stayed late, and cared about the work. But in the end, that didn't matter because I annoyed my boss. I'm convinced that was the main issue.
If you can't work with people who deftly navigate the corporate jargon B.S. kool-aid, this might not be the place for you. If you're skilled at it (like one of my close friends who still works there is) and you like technical sales in the audio industry, it's a great place. I'd hoped be there for 10+ years if I'd only learned this skill sooner.
